How to Be Okay with Everything Not Being Okay

In today’s post, I want to reflect on a question that’s been sitting with me for a while:

Everything is ok.

How do we learn to be okay, even when everything around us is not?

This question first came up in a conversation with my friend Tim, back in Australia, during one of those drawn-out global crises. You know the kind, where uncertainty floods the air and the internet offers up all the familiar slogans of reassurance.

One of those signs popped up:

“Don’t worry. Everything’s going to be okay.”

And it really annoyed Tim.

To be honest, I kind of understood why.

The Problem with Reassurance

There’s something disingenuous about blanket reassurance in the middle of a crisis. When we say “everything’s going to be okay,” what we’re often really saying is:

“I don’t want to be uncomfortable.” “I don’t want to suffer.” “I want things to go back to the way they were, back to convenience, back to normal.”

But the truth is, we don’t know if things will be okay.

They might not.

Economically, politically, environmentally… we’re facing serious unknowns. And for most of us, we’re not in the rooms where decisions get made. I’m not a politician or CEO. I’m someone trying to put food on the table, raise teenage daughters, and make it through the week. The levers of power are beyond me.

So if I can’t control what’s coming, if I can’t guarantee a happy ending…

How do I stay grounded in the face of all that uncertainty?

Where I Take Refuge

For me, it comes down to two places of refuge, two anchors I return to over and over.

1. Inner Silence

The more I deepen into inner stillness, what some might call meditation, presence, awareness, or even God’s love- the more I feel connected to something real. Something bigger than me. Something trustworthy.

There’s a kind of quiet there that doesn’t depend on the news cycle or the state of the economy. It’s not flashy, but it’s stable. When I return to that silence, it reminds me: I don’t have to solve the world. I just have to be here. Awake. Connected.

2. The Love in My Heart

The second refuge is a simple one. Love.

I know I love my kids. I love my community. I love nature. I feel pain when others suffer. I get scared, selfish, ashamed, sure, but beneath all that, I know there is love inside me. And that’s not abstract. That’s real. That’s consistent. And it’s always something I can come back to.

Even when the world feels chaotic or overwhelming, I still have love inside of me. I still care. And that matters.

A Different Kind of Optimism

So no, I don’t know that everything is going to be okay in the way we often mean it.

But I do believe we can be okay within ourselves.

I believe in an optimism that isn’t based on control, or comfort, or everything working out the way we want. I believe in an optimism rooted in something more profound, something more honest and spacious.

And I believe we can grow that feeling. We can learn to be more aware of our inner life, more present with our fear, and more devoted to loving what’s in front of us, even when it hurts.

Being a Refuge for Others

The more I sit in silence and strengthen that inner connection, the more I can be of help to others. Especially those who feel scared or overwhelmed. That’s really why I’m sharing this here, to remind anyone who needs it:

Your safety doesn’t lie in the world being fixed. It lies in your connection to the love inside you. It lies in the stillness available beneath all the noise.

That’s where your refuge is. That’s where your strength is. And that’s how, at least for me, we learn to be okay with everything not being okay.

Thanks for being here. If this resonated, feel free to share it with someone who might need it.